2024 reflection: becoming a mum

This year brought me the greatest gift in my little boy, funnily enough, 24 is my lucky number, so it seemed like the stars aligned when I knew I was having my first baby in 2024.

I spent most of 2023 pregnant with Azaiah, and I couldn’t wait for 2024 because I knew I would finally meet him. I can’t believe the year has ended and before I know it I’ll be preparing for his first birthday.

This year has been a dream, Azaiah has truly changed my life and lit it up. Being a first-time mum has come with highs and challenges, adapting to motherhood has been a journey but I’ve loved it. I finally feel like I am coming into my own now, and I adore being a mummy to him.

I had moments when things felt overwhelming, but the support of my family and friends meant that I was able to navigate my way through it.

Having a little boy has been particularly special because I lost my little brother in 2009. My brother Leon was full of life; he was funny, cheeky and a super-talented footballer. I always say he was like my first baby because he brought out a maternal side in me.

I felt that I had a duty to protect and look after him. I loved being there for him and just wanted to shower him with care and love. When we lost him suddenly, aged 10, I felt like my world had fallen apart, and the heartbreak was too painful to bear.

Being Leon’s big sister was the honour of my life; he was my everything. People often thought we were twins despite the two-year age gap, but in my eyes, he was the boy version of me. I missed and longed for so much of our magical childhood because it simply ended too soon.

I often feel like Leon had a lot to do with Azaiah blessing our lives today, it’s given me the chance to pour all of the maternal love I had for my brother into my baby. It’s also allowed me to pass on the many parts of my childhood that were so special.

My grandad recently bought Azaiah a little football, and my heart felt so happy, I knew my brother would be smiling up there. Having played for a team himself, my grandad was always on the sidelines at Leon’s matches. It felt incredibly special that he bought that gift for Azaiah.

I have to pinch myself sometimes that I am a mum to a beautiful boy who will help heal parts of me that were broken for so long. I can’t wait to live life to the fullest with him and share our experiences as kids because they were truly amazing. So, for me, 2024 was a hugely pivotal year. It was a year of growth, lessons and stepping into my new identity as a mum and for that, I am forever grateful.

This year, I’ve enjoyed working on this platform, and I am looking forward to taking it to the places I see it going in the new year. I’ve also been so thankful for my friends who are mums; it’s been amazing for Azaiah to have babies to play and interact with. Seeing him light up when he sees his little friends is beautiful to see.

He’s incredibly social and quickly becoming a little character who often makes me laugh. I can see already that he has the funny and cheeky traits that his uncle Leon had in abundance.

Being able to get advice from my friends has also been amazing, one thing that has been crucial during the post-partum period is having a circle of support. We pour all of our energy into nurturing and caring for our little ones but it’s also so important to check in with ourselves.

Vision boarding has become a New Year ritual, and I will be doing this shortly with the help of my Manifest by Roxie Nafousi book, which offers an easy step-by-step guide. I love mapping out my goals, and this is a brilliant way to do so.

I recommend it to anyone who wants to set goals for the next year or even five years and get motivated. Since becoming a mum, I feel a real sense of empowerment and I want to hold onto and cherish that as I move forward into the next year which will be the last in my 20’s!